Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
