I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
