I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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