He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize