It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
