Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i believe in u and ur pee
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
