So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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