Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
