I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
