have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
