he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
