Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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