Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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