you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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