Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
