i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
