On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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