Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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