No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
