party gras won. party gras always wins.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
