Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize