I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
