You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
