i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
