I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
