She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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