he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Little spoons don't ask big questions
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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