I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Sorry my hands just texted you
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
