so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize