please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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