No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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