dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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