Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize