Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
