just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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