You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
