I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
