I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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