why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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