you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
