Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
