i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
