Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
