Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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