i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize