Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
