I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
