OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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