She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
