just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
