I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
