so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize