Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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