I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
