I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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