Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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