my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
