Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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