Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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