I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My dick has a subreddit
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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