I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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