I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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