I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
