Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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