Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
