we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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