Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
