Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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