I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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