Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
