I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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