i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Verdict: uncircumcised.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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