There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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