my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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