I'd wear matching sweaters with you
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Couch. On fire.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
