just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
