"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
bring money and cleavage
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
