I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
