thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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